Contact Information:

Sand Stormers

Evan Sanders

(816)679-****

egsanders**@gmail.com

Release Date: FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

STATEMENT FROM THE SAND STORMERS IN RESPONSE TO NCAA POSTSEASON BAN

LIBERTY, Mo. (DEC. 9, 2020)– The Sand Stormers will appeal the NCAA postseason ban and retest all players on the team. Players will continue preparation for the season despite the sanctions leveraged against them. 

“We believe that there has been a mix up in the cafeteria resulting in players mistakenly testing positive for performance enhancing substances,” said Sammy Sosa, a spokesperson for the Sand Stormers. “We will try to do everything in our power to get the players eligible for the remainder of the season.” 

The NCAA ruled Wednesday morning that the Sand Stormers football team would be banned from the college football playoff in 2020 due to a number of players testing positive for trace amounts PEDs. 

The decision came after 24 players tested positive for the performance-enhancing substance, Giganta-Muscle. This substance can make a player grow far stronger than the average human, making the game dangerous to opposing players. 

“We know that there has been a huge mistake here,” said Hulk Hogan, head coach of the Sand Stormers. “Giganta-Muscle must have accidentally been mixed into the mac-n-cheese the players were eating in the cafeteria.”

The Sand Stormers have had a long history of playing disciplined, well-coached football. Since 1904, student-athletes have been offered a top tier education and the opportunity to play college football in a great conference. During their time in Liberty, they have won 24 national titles and 56 bowl games.